How to Survive Startup Life: Fear, Failure, and My Man Steve Jobs

Getting your sh*t together can be tough

I am really scared sometimes. I try as I might to balance the work at the startup with my personal life, with my freelancing, yet I seem to keep taking, and creating, hard knocks. I know I have to change what I do, and I know that I’m getting better. But it’s hard. It’s hard to know how to survive startup life. It’s hard sometimes to know what’s going on. But hey.

I know these things at least.

The Funny Way Things Work & Other Stories

The amount of times I’ve come to my blog to say “I promise to write more” just to bugger off again is almost amusing. 

Almost. 

Since I started travelling in May last year things have been seriously intense. Trying to manage severe depression while halfway around the world, trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, trying to make sure that everything is always perfect regardless of how useless I feel – all this can take it’s toll on a person.

However I’m pleased to say that things are looking up. Especially once I realised that my 300 or so casual followers are OK with me not being perfect. That helped a lot.

So… what am I doing now?

I promised exciting things and I think I can deliver this time. 

Currently I live in London, in a converted hostel above a bar in Camden with my 3 roommates and about 40 million housemates… or 40. I can never quite tell. My last exciting opportunity wasn’t exactly what it was cracked up to be, so now I work for a tech/lifestyle start up and I write London guides for an awesome hostel company. As I write this I realise I should also update the “About me” section. Damn.

A Greek Stalker, Another Odd American, & A Sweet Daddy Pimp

“She’s hot, I wouldn’t have shot her.”
“So you mean that it’s OK to kill unattractive people?”
“No, it’s just, different.”
“Right.”
“So how do I keep in touch with you?”
“Ummm… “

And that’s not even where the weirdness began.

When I Almost Gave In to The Ocean

Here is something a little different… I hope you enjoy.

I picked a flower. I didn’t know why I picked it, but I did. It was soft and pink and smelled like distant rain. I didn’t know why I picked it because it was hours past midnight and no one would notice if I wore it in my hair. I knew its pinkness, because I walked past its tree everyday. At least 4 times. I walked past because the tree with its soft, pink flowers that held the promise of fresh soil in their bloom sat on the path that led to the sea. It sat in a reverie, lost in thoughts of the Things Trees Think. I could tell. Its branched were heavy, laden with the possible and the im; one curled up and out and back from the trunk, to rest its fist on the cheek of the tree. My tree, with the soft, pink flowers that sniffed of future life. 

Rocking a Swing – Adventure Time in Olympos

“Have you seen Mike?”

Nope. I haven’t. Sorry. I may have met Mike once, although I’m not certain. But I have to thank the elusive man- without him I wouldn’t have found myself hanging upside down over Olympos, supported by a single rope and an Englishman.

Top Travel Tips – Flying #1

Google “Tips for travel”. In around 0.24 seconds you’ll find “About 976,000,000 results”.  Try “Tips for flying”… you get 140,000,000+.

Geez.

I may be mistaken, but I’m pretty darn certain that most of those, while useful, will regurgitate the same info over and over. Which is super fantastic if you have OCD tendencies and trust no one. Otherwise there are more than enough ‘pack light, check your luggage early’ options out there to keep even the most conscientious researcher happy. I wanted to do something different. So here is the first in my series of travel tips with a difference. Enjoy.

THE INDIE BUTTERFLY PRESENTS:

  TIPS FOR THE AWESOME ADVENTURER – Flying #1 “BEATING BOREDOM”

Before you leave home, pack the essentials! What do I mean by essentials? Well…

And exciting things are coming soon.

I haven’t posted in awhile, but I’ve been busy planning some revamping, re-styling, renewing of life and the blog. So look out for great things to come dear readers, and hold your thumbs for me.

All the love and rainbow ninjas.

Caitlin

And Yet This Is A Love Poem

For so long I felt broken
Shut away inside my head,
Anxiety and dependence,
Never left my side, nor my bed.

I met you when we were younger,
When I needed someone there.
Not someone to love me,
But to prove that I could share.

Not my heart nor my worries,
my true self nor my fears.
But that I could bring someone pleasure.
Feel wanted after all these years.

Do you even ‘Travel’ bro… or do you just live overseas?

It’s an odd moment when you realise that even though you’ve been away from home for months and months, you’ve barely travelled at all.

When you have personal issues in your life, escaping them just isn’t an option. No matter how far you run, be it Spain or Siberia, if the problems in your life are carried within you there’s no way of leaving them behind. Then you find yourself repeating the same old patterns over and over, running into the same old obstacles – in my case missing out on life the same way I always had.

I found myself living in London for 4 months and not seeing a single thing. Not saving to explore the amazing creative culture or ancient architecture, nor for trips across the pond to places I’d always wanted to see. Instead my focus became my work at Graphic, it became ambition based on validation, and I fell into the same behaviour I always had – try try try to impress, yet receive no return. Get depressed. Spend money stupidly on things to consume and fill the void that added no value to my life. Be alone, lonely, far too often. Crash.